It takes grit to do the hard thing. I have been there before numerous times. I’m here to tell you that you too, can do the difficult thing that you have been putting off because you know it will change your life.

In my life I have moved numerous times. I have started over. I have pushed through. The fact that I am still growing and becoming is testament to this fact.

Doing the hard thing can invoke feelings of grief, fear, sadness, and ultimately pride, resolve, grounding. While it’s normal to say to yourself, well, when I am stable, when I have ‘x’, when I (insert the thing you think you need to do the hard thing here), then I will be ready.

The truth may be that you are never ready. The truth may be that you are fleeing the difficult situation. This doesn’t change the fact that you are moving in a new direction that hasn’t ever been tread by you before and that can still cause you to freeze, pause or reconsider doing the safe thing, the thing that comforts you. It’s ok to seek comfort too. We all need that. Then when you have been comforted, get back to doing the hard thing.

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I had always desired to fit in. In some ways I ‘did’ this but ultimately, I failed miserably at this. Until recently, I have always had a ‘mask’, what I called my customer service face, to ‘put on’ but this changed during my journey leading up to and throughout grad school. Suddenly it was encouraged and necessary to be my ‘authentic’ self, [ to be in congruence with my self ] and I had several role models to guide me in what it might look like to honour my own needs, something which I had never even considered as a possibility before. It was a challenge to ask myself what I needed and an additional task to expect others to respect that, and ultimately, something that I am grateful for.

Speaking as a person that has experienced trauma, abuse, gaslighting, the educational system and working ‘front of house’, there have often been times where I minimized myself to get by. I’m not ashamed of that fact, as I’ve said, I’m still here, I’ve done hard things. I’ve learned to make room for depressive episodes and leaned into creativity from a young age as a way to cope. It’s important to remember that most things pass if you give them time, including sadness, including despair, including panic, including difficult moments or periods of time. If they won’t pass, do the hard thing and invoke change into your life through facing difficulty head on. Do the thing that you are afraid to do because you don’t know what will happen. The future hasn’t happened yet.

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Disclaimer: This blog post is not a replacement for therapy or advice if you have a medical or mental health condition that needs intervention. The opinions expressed are those of the writer and do not speak to anyone else’s individual situation.