What is vulnerability? Vulnerability can be thought of as an instance of defenselessness. The figurative or literal ‘walls’ are down. Your ‘poker hand’ is on display, your most precious secret is no longer hidden. It can be freeing and … terrifying.

Ultimately, it’s a moment of trust. Essentially what one is saying in that moment is…. can you protect me while I… release this burden… show you my real face… dance like no one is watching…reload my weapon?

The moment passes and trust is built or broken down.

What makes it a vulnerable moment is a jump into the unknown, hoping that the connection is strong enough that the other party is willing to stand guard and stay open no matter what you say, do or represent in that moment of vulnerability. What makes it more imperfect is that triggers (negative associations) are not always obvious (unlike the trigger on a weapon) and it’s almost impossible to know before you do it if you’ve actually ‘pulled’ one. But the repercussions are similar. What if you go to reload and are injured in that moment? What if you dance like no one is watching and are laughed AT? What if you show your most authentic ‘real’ face and someone turns away from you? What if you release a burden and now it seems to take up the whole space and YOU stop feeling seen?

The good news is that when you have the chance to be affirmed or met with stability in your vulnerable moments that essentially what is happening is a type of internal repair. In therapy besides deep exploration into your concerning ‘symptoms’ and connection building between what you have learned and are learning and your path of personal growth, there can also be moments of joy, affirmation, validation of your difficult moments and the story of your own inner strength, perseverance and ultimately resilience being unveiled. Like a good apology which can ease tension, creating and experiencing delicate moments of vulnerability which are met with warmth can bring about a sense of justice and closure to the hearts deepest questions.